If Tiger was your son/patient/parishioner, what advice might you give him?

someecard-golf1someecard-golf2Tiger Woods has not only been a godsend to late-night comedians and cartoonists recently. Someecards has two e-greeting cards that are proving popular.

Since I’m a father, a former family therapist, and now a minister, I’ve been trying to imagine…

what advice I might give Tiger. Help me out here.

7 thoughts on “If Tiger was your son/patient/parishioner, what advice might you give him?”

  1. I advise him to study astrology. As I look at his chart,in my amateur astrologist way, I see the storm blew up just as indicated by the position of the Sun moving into his solar return, and being the symbol of authority, along with his Jupiter, the sign of expansion and publishing in a world point located in Aries, the sign of sex, and his mars in Gemini, an indicator of superficial sexual relations, the location of his bachelor leaning moon coupled with the often confused Neptune, he obviously has some puzzling issues dealing with sex. There’s more, but I can see people turning colors already.

    If Tiger had known any of this ahead of time, he could have 1) altered his actions,
    2) found a way to duck before the fit hit the shan, or 3) been like Adam Lambert and told everyone to deal with it up front.

    For those of you who do not take astrology seriously, well neither did I until I spent about ten years watching people do normal things to the timing of the moon
    on a daily basis, as the moon moves through the 360 degree chart every 29 1/4 days or so. The planets do not compel us do anything, but they do impel us.

    It happens to be in my chart that I would study astrology. I took it up as a less boring way to study human nature. It’s fun, if nothing else!

  2. I got an email along the line of ‘headcovers’ and ‘woody’ which I don’t think I want to post here in its entirety, given our standards for high quality/family friendly content.

    On the other hand:

    “Tiger and Elin have signed a new prenuptial agreement. According to the new contract, the next time Tiger plays a round, Elin will hand him his balls.”

  3. Do all golfers consider themselves swingers, or just a few of the pros?

    It seems that one of the pitfalls of accomplishment is the loss of memory that you are still a person, and you still have to put your gloves on one at a time. Another set of examples are the high-speed Vikings we have in the Twin Cities area. The greatest test of a man’s character is not the failures of life he encounters, but the success he achieves.

  4. My advice to Tiger: (1) Get out your check book. And keep it out.
    (2) Spend some of that money on a male spiritual advisor/life coach who is at least twice your age and willing to tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. Plan to meet with that person regularly for a long, long time.

  5. A blogger I follow, Vin Crosbie, has a couple of Tweets today that resonate with me:

    Tweet #1: Am predicting Tiger Woods will be back on the endorsement circuit 12mos from now. If convicted felon Martha Stewart could do it, Tiger can.

    Tweet #2: Tiger’s indiscretions will be forgotten: The United States is both puritanical and forgetful.

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