Loss of virginity announcement: Barbara Cew, 19

b_cew.jpgBarbara Cew, 19, of Northfield, lost her virginity Saturday, Jan. 6 at the Cannon River Wilderness Area parking lot just south of Northfield on Cty. Rd 20 (see this Google map). She was accompanied by her boyfriend of 7 months, Max Welhaus, 20, of Dundas. Ms. Crew chose a satin flyaway babydoll for her undergarment. Mr. Welhaus stuck with his traditional tighty whities. A bright yellow Twisted Pleasure was the couple’s choice of prophylactic. Ravel’s Bolero, a longtime favorite of Ms. Crew, played on the CD player of Mr. Welhaus’ vehicle, a light green 2002 Ford Explorer. The couple celebrated the milestone afterwards with pumpkin pie and decaf at Perkin’s on Hwy. 3.

loss_of_virginity_P_Gauguin.jpgMr. Welhaus lost his virginity shortly after graduating from Northfield High School in 2005 with Mandy Lifeboats, Lonsdale, age 18, at the time. Ms. Cew’s parents lost their virginity at approximately the same age, in a rural part of western South Dakota, but not with each other. Mr. Welhaus’ parents could not be reached by press time.

11:00 PM Update: Upon the advice of some trusted advisors, I toned down the entry a notch by removing one sentence.

Editor’s note:

Northfield.org has joined the Northfield News and KYMN in providing obituary announcements. The Northfield News, of course, also does birth announcements, graduation announcements, engagement and marriage announcements, anniversary announcements, and job change announcements.

Loss of virginity announcements are the one remaining stage of the life-cycle that’s not being covered by local media. Hence, we thought it important for Locally Grown to provide this public service. If you’d like to submit a loss of virginity announcement, use our Contact Us form. The event should have occurred some time in the past 6 months.

13 thoughts on “Loss of virginity announcement: Barbara Cew, 19”

  1. Hi Griff,

    Um, poor taste? Sometimes I don’t get you, Griff.

    Anyway, you’d better hope no one sends you a real, or spoofed but still contains real names, “loss of virginity” announcement.

    As far as Northfield.org and it’s posts– I miss your stories about “who you met downtown” and “what happened to those people”, etc. N.org seems to contain a lot of stories which are about events, etc. But, Anne really is great, though, and thank goodness she can make any story sing a bit.

  2. Holly,
    Seriously, you’d have to be pretty dense to send any actual announcement in. And look at some of the other posts in the FN category.

    I too am taken aback by Northfield.org’s obituaries. Especially with the ad at the bottom of each one.

  3. Holly, I’ve edited my post and put in an update that reads:

    11:00 PM Update: Upon the advice of some trusted advisors, I toned down the entry a notch by removing one sentence.

  4. Dear Griff,
    I lost mine this morning to Earl Plathymer of Lonsdale. It was in a 1996 Grand AM, red with black interior. Lynyrd Skynyrd was on the radio, and after that we picked up a pizza at Casey’s gas station.
    Thank you for letting me share this with the world!

  5. Hey, Griff. Another brilliant idea. How do you do it???!!!! But it seems to me in order to get your announcement published you have to submit proof. For some reason, a lot of folks tend to embellish in this area (you know, they claim to have scored, when in fact they were thrown out at first) so in order to protect the integrity of the process, an unretouched photo or recombitant DNA sample should be mandatory.

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