Clay Oglesbee, a hero to men everywhere

Clay Oglesbee Last summer, I made fun of Northfield United Methodist Church pastor Clay Oglesbee, shown here at the Blue Monday earlier this week, his wrist in a cast, wracked in pain.

He’s now my hero and should be yours.

Why?

Allow me to assemble the elements of the drama:

  • A threatening brown bat (surely Big, not Little).
  • A church sanctuary.
  • Vulnerable women and children in near panic.
  • A long pole.
  • A racquetball racquet.
  • Duct tape.
  • A ladder.
  • Three swings.
  • Two mammals splattered on the concrete; one lives.
  • Sirens.
  • Economic stimulus to Northfield’s medical economy.

Get the picture?

9 thoughts on “Clay Oglesbee, a hero to men everywhere”

  1. Modesty forbids me accept acclamation as a hero; only let bold men and panicky citizens everywhere remember, “He was the first one on the ladder and the last one off the ladder in a time of distress.” I ask no more. In fact, I prefer no more be remembered.

    Also, let it be said here first, bats are benign creatures who eat mosquitoes
    and who would never land in a beehive hairdo during a church service, despite anecdotal reports to the contrary.

  2. Thank you, Clay, for your kind words about bats, which mitigates to some extent the action taken against them. Griff dubbed you a “hero to men everywhere,” but I daresay not to MERLIN TUTTLE. Who is Merlin Tuttle? Well, there are 8,330 Google hits on his name, as founder of Bat Conservation International, an organization founded in 1982 and devoted to “presenting a positive image of bats and encouraging their preservation.” Obviously a positive image of bats and their conservation was not served by your action, so Merlin might “tut tut” about what happened. (I am really entrhalled with Merlin Tuttle’s name.)

    When my daughter was young, she was a card carrying member of Bat Conservation International and presented a very earnest project at the Putnam County 4-H Fair in New York about our friends, the bats. So that is how I came to know about Mr. Tuttle.

    Especially in Minnesota, we must applaud the bats’ mosquito-eating propensities.

    And I am curious if there are beehive hairdos in Rev. Oglesbee’s congregation!

  3. Bats are sweet. And they have lovely soft fur and like to have their heads scratched.

    Not even to mention that they eat their weight in mosquitoes.

    So why stereotype “Vulnerable women and children in near panic” when on the evidence at hand it was a *man* who panicked and caused the two casualties?

    Leave the bedroom window open and go to sleep. They fly out again in the morning.

  4. I welcome Clay to the “elite” circle of individuals who have suffered wrist injuries due to various and, perhaps, better-left-unreported reasons.

    I have taken the liberty of ordering Clay one of comic Stephen Colbert’s “Wrist Strong” bracelets and I would be honored to be able present this to him, if he will agree, at an appropriate time and venue preferably reported – liberally – by LocallyGrownNorthfield.org. Clay?

    See
    http://shop.comedycentral.com/Colbert-Report–WRISTSTRONG-Bracelet-The-Colbert-Report_stcVVproductId21567271VVcatId426756VVviewprod.htm
    for further information.

    I just want to mention that it is my personal Wrist Strong (or wrist injury) experience that a glass of wine and (legal) Vicodin makes a h*ll of a relaxing evening cocktail…

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