Southwest Neighborhood files discrimination lawsuit against the City of Northfield for misspelt street signs

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In what is perceived as a social stigma in a two-college town, members of Northfield Southwest Neighborhood Association (NSWNA) have filed a discrimination law suit against the City of Northfield for it’s refusal to replace the four street signs in the neighborhood which have the words ‘W Nineth St’ on them in stead of ‘W Ninth St.’

img-46701Three of the neighbors in particular are perturbed because they are accomplished spellers, finishing 2nd as a Northfield Rotary team in the Friends of the Northfield Public Library Spelling  Bee in 2007. NSWNA neighbors Jeb Flufkin, Ricky Coldman, and Mitch ‘Penny’ Lane say that its not just the image of the neighborhood that’s at stake.

"Northfield is known for it’s educational values and the value of our homes in the neighborhood are likely to be negatively effected the longer that we have to live under this cloud of misspelling," said Flufkin. "My stomache just churns when I drive down the street every day and see those signs."

The group has retained the services of Northfield attorney Dave Hviscerate. "This is yet another sign of the incompetence at City Hall, and their intransigence is unconscionable. How hard or expensive could it be to change four signs? These people have suffered enough. Residents of 9th St. east of Division don’t have to put up with this embarrassment. Neither should those west of Division."

Ward 4 Councilor Jesse Anderson Black declined to comment on the suit but Public Works Director and City Engineer Jose Staphylo said it was with out merit. "We know their misspelt and we plan to fix them. But its not cheap. We tentatively have it in the department budget for 2014. Its not like people will be unable to navigate the neighborhood in the meantime."

Below are photos of the Ninth St. signs west of Division St.

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Northfield citizens decline to help capture robbery suspect; severe impact on tourism feared

America's Best Value Inn & Suites - NorthfieldWhen the word of this morning’s robbery at America’s Best Value Inn & Suites on Hwy 3 began trickling out via police scanners, most Northfielders were sound asleep.

When KYMN Radio and Northfield Patch began sounding the alarm at around 6 am that one of the suspects had fired at police officers and fled, members of the Northfield Police Department assumed that citizens would respond in droves to help capture one of the suspects who was still at large and believed to be in the Sechler Park area.

By time the Northfield News began covering the story several hours later, gloom was apparent on the faces of the police officers on duty.  “We had extra department staff ready to handle the flood of citizen volunteers by deputizing them and issuing them firearms,” said Taylor Marcus, Northfield’s Public Safety Director. “No one showed up. No one emailed. No one tweeted. We had no choice to but to call other law enforcement agencies for help. It was embarrassing.”

robberWhen the suspect was finally apprehended mid-morning, the Defeat of Jesse James Days and Northfield Area Chamber of Commerce boards of directors were already in an emergency joint session.  “It’s a Category 4 public relations nightmare,” said Chamber Executive Director Marie Schmaltzy. “If word of this colossal failure of our citizens to respond gets out, we’re likely to see a devastating impact on attendance at DJJD next year.”

“I’m not surprised at all,” said Dewayne Reddy, DJJD board member.  “Northfielders have essentially become a bunch of yellow-bellied, lily-livered, milk-toasted, panty-waisted wimp chickens.  We’ve been riding on the courage of the town’s ancestors from the 1876 bank raid for over 100 years and we’re now morally bankrupt, no pun intended. It’s a sad day. I feel like turning in my spur.”

Noting that the weapon used in today’s robbery had not yet been found, KYMN radio’s Jim Friedman, organizer of the annual DJJD Horseshoe Hunt, said he would attempt to mobilize the citizenry in the morning to help find the suspect’s gun. When asked what he would do to motivate people to participate, Friedman said, “I haven’t got a clue.”

Northfield Park & Rec Advisory Board approves ‘man boob’ swimsuit policy

Lost amid the skatepark controversy at last night’s meeting, the Northfield Park & Rec Advisory Board  (PRAB) voted unanimously approved a policy requiring males with ‘man boobs’ to cover up while at Northfield’s outdoor pool at Old Memorial Park.

The issue surfaced over the summer after a revised pool apparel policy was approved in the spring (see Revisions to outdoor pool rules now in draft), the result of a 2011 controversy involving a complaint by a parent who was told she had to put a swimsuit top on her three-year-old daughter while at the pool.

While that issue was resolved before summer, news from Seattle surfaced in June that a breastless cancer survivor was told by the Seattle Parks and Recreation department that she could not swim topless in public pool.

When two local residents inquired about Northfield’s swimsuit policy for breastless women, they were told that the issue had never come up.  In August, the PRAB appointed David Viscousdahl, Lyle Nuzky, and Gracie Quark to a task force to study the issue. They presented their recommendation to the board last night.

Jack Nicholson"We think the vast majority of Northfield residents would find it uncomfortable to view the chest of a breastless woman at a public pool," said Quark.  "But to head off future controversy and to level the playing field, we recommend a policy requiring men with enlarged breasts to cover them up with a mansierre while at the pool." Quark then held up a photo of Jack Nicholson and said, "Besides, man boobs are an eyesore anyway."

When PRAB chair Knute Nathanial asked how pool staff would go about enforcing such a policy, Viscousdahl cited the Ann Lander’s pencil test. "That type of test should work equally well for men. Plus, pencils are cheap and in-service training would be minimal. I’m happy to be the practice subject for the lifeguards, no charge."

PRAB members then discussed whether more input from the public was needed. "We’ve interviewed lots of people," said Nuzky.  "It’s no secret that we’ve been studying this. Anyone who was truly interested would have contacted us by now or shown up for tonight’s meeting."

Hearing no comments from the assembled residents, the PRAB unanimously approved the measure. It will go into effect for the 2013 summer season.

The penis has been saved and is being reinstalled on Bridge Square

Carleton College - penis pavers 2 Carleton College - penis pavers 3 Carleton College - penis pavers 1 
Back in 2008, Carleton College installed cement sidewalk pavers at the corner of 2nd and Division.  The phallus design soon became controversial and plans to remove it were met with a ‘Save the Penis’ campaign that ultimately failed.

Bridge Square excavationThe Northfield Arts and Culture Commission, together with the Northfield Historical Society and the Downtown Streetscape Task Force, have pooled their public art monies to fund the reinstallation of the phallus design on a section of Bridge Square.

Yesterday, workers began excavation.  The bulbous shape of the excavated area will be reshaped into a phallus, designed by members of the Old Sculptors Project, the complementary group to the Young Sculptors Project that has installed a sculpture in front of the Northfield Library.

"We felt it was important to save a piece of Northfield history and to have it stick out right outside our door," said Hayes ‘Gabby’ Scriver,  Northfield Historical Society board member. 

"There was stiff opposition to the project for a while," wrote Ava Gina, Chair of the Northfield Arts and Culture Commission in an email to Locally Grown. "We went to great lengths to make our case. It was hard. In the end, we believed strongly that inserting this design into the most pubic [sic] space of Northfield was in the best interest of all."

Starbucks coffee bean shipment arrives at Target

Northfield Target store Northfield Target store
The revamped Northfield Target store will include a Starbucks coffeeshop (Nfld News article here, Nfld Patch article here). They plan to sell a lot of coffee, evidently, because earlier this week, oceangoing containers filled with coffee arrived in the north parking lot. Jeesh.

Decline in teen smoking jeopardizes profits for Northfield’s Muni, funding for Mayor’s Task Force on Youth Alcohol & Drug Use

Teen smoking is declining, according to a recent Monitoring the Future press release:

The 2011 national survey results from the Monitoring the Future study show decreases in teen smoking in all three grades under study—grades 8, 10, and 12. The proportion saying that they smoked at all in the prior 30 days fell significantly for the three grades combined, from 12.8% in 2010 to 11.7% this year.

Northfield Municipal Liquor StoreOfficials from the City of Northfield this week, while acknowledging that this is good news for obvious reasons, expressed some concern because the Northfield Municipal Liquor Store profits from its sale of cigarettes and cigars.

"These teens are our potential future customers," said Juan Morefore DeRhode, Muni Manager.  "If this trend holds up, we’re going to have to revisit the revenue projections in our long-range plan and adjust accordingly." 

When asked what marketing strategies he’d consider that might help to ensure future tobacco revenues, DeRhode said he continues to have discussions with the gift shop at the Northfield Hospital, owned by the City of Northfield but operated by the Northfield Hospital Auxiliary. "We’ve always said that one of the reasons we carry tobacco products at the Muni is for the convenience of the customer.  That rationale holds up for the hospital’s gift shop, too, with so many of its patients addicted to tobacco. We’d be delighted to work with them and split the profits."

The issue was on the agenda of Northfield’s Mayor’s Task Force on Youth Alcohol & Drug Use last week.

"Tobacco will prematurely kill the kids who smoke but only when they get much older," said Task Force member Dr. Kirsten Mashton.  "So we’re not really concerned about that.  Our worries are tied to the revenue projections. We received $15,750 in 2011 from the Muni. If the decline in teen smoking continues, that jeopardizes our future funding and our ability to make an impact."

The City’s Economic Development Authority (EDA) is also concerned. "We worked hard to bring two tobacco businesses to Northfield in the past year," said EDA President Janis Tappan. "It would be a shame if Tobacco Field or Division Tobacco took a hit from this decline in teen smoking and had to close."

Northfield City Hall to open at 12:01 am on Black Friday; Chamber/CVB reluctantly follows suit

City of NorthfieldNorthfield City Administrator Tim Madagascar announced last week in his Weekly Memo that City Hall will open for business at midnight (12:01 am) on Black Friday.

"Since it’s the busiest shopping day of the year, our customers—sometimes known as citizens—are demanding that we be responsive," Madagascar said. " Northfield Target is opening at midnight and we want to be ready to serve those folks who might want to apply for a license, make a reservation, or submit an application for the council vacancy when they’re done shopping.  It’s part of our mission—striving for excellence, committed to service."

On Tuesday, Northfield Area Chamber of Commerce Executive Director Katarina Fellbore announced that their Northfield Convention and Visitors Bureau office at 205 3rd St. West would open just after midnight on Black Friday as well.

Northfield Chamber "Buy More" card"My Board of Directors thinks it’s an opportunity for us to tell the out-of-towners who will be heading to Northfield Target all the great things about shopping in Northfield," said Fellbore. "Frankly, I think that’s a stretch, since no other stores are opening at that hour. Nonetheless, we’ll be open, handing out CVB brochures and selling our line of Buy More cards that we have left over from last year."

When asked whether it might be more cost-effective for the City and the Chamber to be offering these services via their websites 24X7, both indicated that e-commerce was something they’d be adding in the next five years or so. "Online shopping is likely to catch on with the public by then and when it does, we’ll be ready for it," said Fellbore.

Parks & Rec board launches Recliner-in-the-parks project

Recliner in Central Park, NorthfieldNorthfield’s Central Park has been chosen by the Northfield Park & Rec Advisory Board to be the demonstration site for its new Recliner-in-the-parks project.

The goal of the project is to get citizens who spend too much of their leisure time watching television indoors to spend more time outdoors. 

"We know it’s not realistic for most hard-core couch potatoes to become recreational users of our parks overnight," said Knute Nathanial, PRAB chair.  "Research shows that the use of recliners are effective at helping people make a gradual transition. And since TV programs can now be watched on one’s smartphone, the time was perfect to try this."

The PRAB has rescued a number of Barcaloungers and La-Z-Boys from the colleges’ dumpsters in recent years so that no taxpayer money has to be spent on acquiring them for the project.  All the recliners will have plastic tarps stored underneath them to protect them from the elements.

Controversy erupts over the 2011 DJJD Horseshoe Hunt

DJJD Horseshoe HuntWhile the 2011 Horseshoe Hunt clues have started appearing on the DJJD website, some members of the DJJD committee have begun to question the wisdom of this year’s location for Horseshoe.

On early Saturday morning, DJJD volunteers were seen lowering Horsehoe Hunt Chair Tim Freeland into the Cannon River adjacent to the Ames Mill, dressed in a diving suit.

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While Freeland’s final destination for the Horeshoe remains a secret, its approximate location quickly became controversial, once other DJJD Committee members learned of the activity.

"I know that we’ve had some problems in the past with the Horseshoe found too quickly," said Hayes ‘Gabby’ Scriver,  a 3rd-year DJJD Board Director. "But this looks to me like it’s a little over the top. If the Horseshoe is anywhere near the dam, we can expect that Malt-O-Meal will object.  They own the Ames Mill dam and they certainly don’t want anyone messing around there, underwater or not. What if the dam was accidentally damaged?"

DJJD General Chair Dwayne Reddy disagreed. "You can’t be spoon fed all your life.  In recent years, the Horseshoe has been so easy to find that you hardly even need to read the clues to find it.  If the frickin’ Mayor of Northfield can find the Horseshoe, what does that tell you?"  Other committee members agreed, though they wished to remain anonymous.

The Northfield Fire Department has agreed to rent out its diving suit to anyone interested in searching the river for the Horseshoe. "I know it’s a bit unusual but considering the City’s budget problems, we need all the revenue we can find right now," said Fire Chief Harry Frantek. "The bingo tent during DJJD ain’t the cash cow folks think it is."

Gleeson removed from Parking Quality Control Commission; Council seeks replacement

improperly parked truck, owned by former PQQC member Jim GleesonOn Monday, an alert citizen used his cell phone camera to capture this photo of a truck parked improperly in front of the Goodbye Blue Monday.  He used the Tell the City form on the City of Northfield’s website to report the problem.

City staff traced the ownership of the truck to Jim Gleeson, a member of the City of Northfield’s Parking Quality Control Commission (PQQC) since it was formed back in October of 2006.

The incident came before the City Council on Tuesday.

"We simply can’t have a member of a city commission flagrantly disregarding the very municipal code that they’ve been charged to monitor," said First Ward Councilor Suzanna Kardashian. "How would it look if a member of the Hospital Board bought a pack of cigarettes from the City’s Municipal Liquor Store or Hospital Gift Shop and then tossed a butt out  the window of their car onto the sidewalk as they drove off? We’d be outraged.  This is on a par with that."

Councilors voted unanimously to remove Gleeson from the PQQC and to seek a replacement. Likely candidate: Nancy Hammermann, who has previously exhibited an interest and expertise in matters of parking quality.

Former PQQC member Jim Gleeson Former PQQC member Jim Gleeson
Gleeson was spotted departing the Council chambers via its back door on Tuesday night.  When asked to comment on the Council’s decision to remove him from the PQQC, had virtually nothing to say.

NDDC issues proclamation for days of prayer for sun in Northfield for the Taste of Northfield 2011

Ross Currier praying at the Church of the Blue Monday Taste of Northfield banner 
NDDC‘s Ross Currier has taken a cue from Governor Rick Perry’s Proclamation for Days of Prayer for Rain in Texas to issue a similar but opposite proclamation for Northfield this week. I took the photo of him on his knees this morning at the Church of the Blue Monday where we both attend religiously.

He wants sunny skies for the Sixth Annual Taste of Northfield (blog post here, full event info/schedule here), held tomorrow and Friday in downtown Northfield on Bridge Square.

Last year’s Taste was memorable; Day 1/Thursday night was a bust (photos) in part because of a botched triggering of severe weather sirens; Day 2/Friday night was spectacular (photos).

See all Locally Grown’s archived Taste of Northfield blog posts and photos for more.

Here’s the transcript of Ross’ adapted prayer for fair weather:

Almighty Lord God, who for the sin of man didst once drown all the world, except eight persons, and afterward of thy great mercy didst promise never to destroy it so again; We humbly beseech thee, that although we for our iniquities have worthily deserved a plague of rain and waters, yet upon our true repentance thou wilt send us such weather for the Taste of Northfield, that we may receive the fruits of the earth in due season; and learn both by thy punishment to amend our lives, and for thy clemency to give thee praise and glory; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

St. Dominic installs bike repair stand

St. Dominic bike repair standSeeing St. Olaf’s installation of bike repair stations last week, St. Dominic Catholic Church in Northfield installed a bike repair station of its own over the weekend. Pastor David Demster, an avid bicyclist himself, was the impetus.

"While some of our parishioners are mechanically savvy enough to repair their bikes without assistance, many are not," said Father Demster. "To have the Blessed Virgin on hand for intercessory prayers while bikes are being worked on can really help.  We’re also hoping it can diminish the frequency if not the volume of taking the Lord’s name in vain that we typically hear during bicycle repairs."

While the bike repair stand is intended for parishioner use, any community member can use it.

Northfield Sidewalk Public Poetry Contest submission deadline is today; LoGro sidewalk graffiti to be replaced

Bonnie Jean Flom has a blog post on Northfield.org:

The Arts and Culture Commission of Northfield, in partnership with the Friends of the Northfield Public Library and the Northfield Public Library, has announced a Sidewalk Public Poetry competition to mark National Poetry Month in April.

See the Friends of the Northfield Public Library blog post: 2011 Northfield Sidewalk Public Poetry Contest

Northfield Sidewalk Public Poetry ContestAll residents of Northfield, and all students enrolled in Northfield schools, are eligible and encouraged to submit short poems (10 lines, 240 characters maximum) that are appropriate for the public sphere.

Up to 10 winning poems will be stamped into Northfield sidewalk pavements and will be considered for other public purposes including publication and readings.

Locally Grown Northfield is the shitThe Locally Grown Triumvirate has requested that one of the winning poems be used to replace the sidewalk graffiti that one of our fans scrawled into the cement in front of the HideAway Coffeehouse & Winebar last summer.

Friends of the Northfield Public Library allowed to hold their annual meeting at the library; tense discussions ensue

The Friends of the Northfield Public Library held their annual meeting on Tuesday night.  Where? At the Northfield Public Library

There were evidently some tense negotiations on Monday about the fee that the organization would have to pay for use of the library’s meeting room. With the library’s recent budget cutbacks, Director Lynne Young is on the lookout for additional sources of revenue and has reportedly become a tough negotiator over non-profit use of that space.

Friends of the Northfield Public Library Bill North Kathy Sommers  Lynne Young Friends of the Northfield Public Library annual meeting
Friends president Bill North and treasurer Kathy Sommers ripped on Young during their presentations but she placed responsibility for the Library’s financial predicament on the City Council, as well as on library patrons like Will Healy who have hundreds of dollars of unpaid library fines for overdue books.

Henry Emmons The-Chemistry-of-Calm Henry Emmons signing books Jerry Bilek selling books 
The rhetoric was getting pretty heated but thankfully, Northfield psychiatrist and author Dr. Henry Emmons was on hand to, um, calm things down. Henry was the featured presenter, speaking about his new book, The Chemistry of Calm: A Powerful, Drug-Free Plan to Quiet Your Fears and Overcome Your Anxiety

All went well until after Henry’s speech when Lynne Young noticed Monkey See Monkey Read bookstore proprietor Jerry Bilek selling copies of Henry’s book. She argued that the Library should get a commission on all books sold on the premises. Jerry told her to stick it in her bookdrop. Henry refused to moderate the dispute unless someone agree to pay him his usual counseling fee.  The crowd was getting riled up, and when someone mentioned Zamboni tires, I decided it was time for me to leave.

Northfield police: Jesus hasn’t saved you from a parking ticket, however…

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I saw this car on Jefferson Road this morning. 

Back window: "JESUS HAS SAVED ME"

Side window: "HELL AIN’T FUN"

Ticket on windshield with note: "TRAFFIC COURT AIN’T FUN EITHER BUT IF YOU PAY ON TIME, YOU WILL BE SAVED — ADDITIONAL CHARGES."

Heh. Our Northfield cops sure are funny.

Unidentified tree hugger protests during NHS groundbreaking ceremony

Unidentified tree huggerSome poor sap made a fool of himself yesterday after the NHS groundbreaking by hugging one of the two trees scheduled to be cut down in front of the Scriver Building.

He refused to leave until Hayes Scriven fired up his chain saw and threatened to cut his nuts off asked him politely to depart.

Chamber/NDDC ‘Be Local … Buy Local’ campaign turns it up a notch

Buy moreBe Local … Buy Local (BLBL), the campaign by the Northfield Area Chamber of Commerce and the Northfield Downtown Development Corporation "that promotes the importance of shopping locally for products and services in the Northfield area," has a new initiative. 

They’re selling these ‘buy more’ cards and putting up similar posters in store windows around town.

Roscoe Curry, VP of Public Relations for the Northfield Area Chamber of Commerce, had some reservations about the initiative when it was first discussed at a staff meeting with Executive Director Katarina Fellbore. "I thought some of the merchants might think it a little too doomsdayish," said Curry.  He did an informal straw poll, going door-to-door with the merchants along Hwy 3, and all were in favor.

"I like that it’s direct," said Hugh G. Wreckshun, proprietor of Northfield Kwik Kondom (‘Kows, Kolleges, Kondoms, Kontentment’) near the intersection of Hwy 3 and Heritage Drive. "No sense pussyfooting around."

Goodbye Blue Monday’s annual doughnut sale is today

Northfield Police Sergeants  A, B, CThree of Northfield’s finest were first in line today at 6 am for the Goodbye Blue Monday annual doughnut sale.

Out of respect for Homeland Security guidelines and Quality Bakery, I’ve only identified them as Northfield Police Sergeants  A, B, C.

Parking Quality Control Commission (PQCC) quietly doing its job

Lost in the discussion about downtown parking is that the City of Northfield has a Parking Quality Control Commission (PQCC) to address the problem of irresponsible use of parallel parking spots in downtown Northfield. I first blogged about the PQCC back in Oct of 2006.

PQCC member 'Woody Wannamaker' Erratically parked car Last night while riding my bike downtown, Woody Wannamaker, one of the original members of the PQCC (not his real name; we use it here—and the photo of his shoes–to protect his identity. His real name is Jim Gleason) alerted me to this vehicle parked in front of KYMN’s studios on Division.

He also sent me this photo he’d taken earlier in the day with his cell phone of a car erratically parked in front of the GBM.

PQCC cell phone photo

Video: Crazy Double Rainbow Guy visits Carleton College

With nearly 3 million YouTube views, Paul Vasquez’s (AKA Hungrybear9562) Yosemitebear Mountain Giant Double Rainbow 1-8-10 has been a viral hit. (Hear Paul’s interview on As It Happens for July 9. See dozens of Double Rainbow Guy remixes on YouTube.)

He was in Northfield yesterday afternoon and captured this video of a rainbow over Carleton College. How amazing is that? All I can say is, the Lord works in wondrous ways. Click play to watch. 57 seconds. PG-13 for language.

Northfield’s Riverwalk Arts Quarter finds a home for Bemidji’s Gaia beaver scuplture

Deborah Davis’s Gaea beaver sculpture Deborah Davis’s Gaea beaver sculpture Officials with Northfield’s Riverwalk Arts Quarter (RAQ) announced this morning that they have struck a deal with Bemidji’s Sculpture Walk to locate Deborah Davis’s Gaea beaver sculpture in Northfield along the Riverwalk. 

(See the July 4 Strib article: Beaver sculpture prompts controversy in Bemidji.)

Soldier in the Park, ChicagoPenis pavers, Carleton College “Since securing the large bronze ‘Soldier in the Park’ sculpture from Chicago two years ago, we’ve been waiting for a complementary piece before launching our pubic sculpture walk along the Cannon River,” said RAQ Executive Director Dan Churling. “We’ll be using the pavers that were removed from the sidewalk at Carleton College as well. It’s a ménage à trois made in heaven.”

Churling maintained that Northfield’s sculpture walk would have to meet a high artistic standard.  “We’re not interested in anything involving Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox, not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

More belt-tightening: Northfield Police Dept. announces ‘Police yourself Thursdays’

Police Officer While the Northfield City Council struggles with budget cut issues, the Northfield Police Department decided to be proactive this week.  It announced a program to reduce department payroll called Police yourself Thursdays.

“The success of the Community Expectations policy is what gave me the idea,” said Police Chief Marcus H. Traylor, citing the ordinance that addresses cleanliness, respect, safety, and pedestrian friendliness in the downtown area. (See the April 27, 2009 blog post for more details on that program.)  “We asked citizens to behave better downtown over the past year and they’ve done it.  We’re confident now that if we ask citizens to consciously avoid breaking laws just one day a week, it’ll save a significant amount of payroll dollars that will help to avoid layoffs.”

Why Thursdays?  Traylor consulted with area pastors who suggested Thursdays because Wednesday nights are ‘church nights’ in the area.  The ministers pointed to the impact of the ‘prayer ladies’ (see the Aug. 2007 blog post Prayer group meets at City Hall) on the improved climate at Northfield City Hall and felt that with a more comprehensive prayer effort, Northfield area crime that’s likely to happen on Thursdays could be bumped into Fridays or even the weekend.

Northfield Riverside Baptist Church pastor Cory Ellingston cautioned, however, that the impact of Northfield’s Police yourself Thursdays would have geographic limitations, not unlike the prayer ladies who attend City Council meetings. “Prayers for the City Council are just not as effective if those doing the praying are across the street or down the block,” said Ellingston. “The Dundas Police Department should not expect crime reductions in their city on Thursdays.”

Orgasmic restaurant to open soon on Division

Orgasmic Restaurant - Northfield Orgasmic Restaurant - Northfield 
The Orgasmic restaurant is opening up soon on Division St. between 3rd and 4th.  Gourmet pizza!

The exterior sign went up Tuesday (not a Jim Bohnhoff sign) after they finished replacing the concrete sidewalk in front of the restaurant with attractive ceramic tiles. (Hopefully, they’ll have sidewalk dining.) Yesterday I got a peek inside at the upper level after workers hauled in furniture. 

And in a nice touch:

Orgasmic Restaurant - menuWhen Harry Met SallyThe appetizers section of the menu is labeled "Foreplay." 

They have this poster on the wall for fans of “I’ll have what she’s having.”

It’s April 1. Watch out for faux news

fauxnews Keep your wits about you today. Lots of faux news types cranking out the content, for example:

Sandra Bullock a possibility for this year’s Defeat of Jesse James Days

Sandra Bullock Seizing the moment, Northfield’s Defeat of Jesse James Days committee announced on Thursday that it was pursuing actress Sandra Bullock to be a featured celebrity at this year’s event. A significant number of other notable women could join her.

“Celebrating the citizens’ defeat of Jesse James and his gang in 1876 will remain the focus of this year’s event,” said Ava Gina, General Chair of the DJJD Committee.

“But we realized that women everywhere could be very attracted to a festival that celebrates the defeat of a just-as-despicable 21st century Jesse James.”

“And what could be better than having Sandra Bullock and all the other women who’ve been given tours of his monster garage come to Northfield? I’m not exactly sure what a re-enactment might look like, though one can image some possibilities involving a vanilla gorilla, that sort of thing.”

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