Category Archives: Faux News

Gleeson removed from Parking Quality Control Commission; Council seeks replacement

improperly parked truck, owned by former PQQC member Jim GleesonOn Monday, an alert citizen used his cell phone camera to capture this photo of a truck parked improperly in front of the Goodbye Blue Monday.  He used the Tell the City form on the City of Northfield’s website to report the problem.

City staff traced the ownership of the truck to Jim Gleeson, a member of the City of Northfield’s Parking Quality Control Commission (PQQC) since it was formed back in October of 2006.

The incident came before the City Council on Tuesday.

"We simply can’t have a member of a city commission flagrantly disregarding the very municipal code that they’ve been charged to monitor," said First Ward Councilor Suzanna Kardashian. "How would it look if a member of the Hospital Board bought a pack of cigarettes from the City’s Municipal Liquor Store or Hospital Gift Shop and then tossed a butt out  the window of their car onto the sidewalk as they drove off? We’d be outraged.  This is on a par with that."

Councilors voted unanimously to remove Gleeson from the PQQC and to seek a replacement. Likely candidate: Nancy Hammermann, who has previously exhibited an interest and expertise in matters of parking quality.

Former PQQC member Jim Gleeson Former PQQC member Jim Gleeson
Gleeson was spotted departing the Council chambers via its back door on Tuesday night.  When asked to comment on the Council’s decision to remove him from the PQQC, had virtually nothing to say.

NDDC issues proclamation for days of prayer for sun in Northfield for the Taste of Northfield 2011

Ross Currier praying at the Church of the Blue Monday Taste of Northfield banner 
NDDC‘s Ross Currier has taken a cue from Governor Rick Perry’s Proclamation for Days of Prayer for Rain in Texas to issue a similar but opposite proclamation for Northfield this week. I took the photo of him on his knees this morning at the Church of the Blue Monday where we both attend religiously.

He wants sunny skies for the Sixth Annual Taste of Northfield (blog post here, full event info/schedule here), held tomorrow and Friday in downtown Northfield on Bridge Square.

Last year’s Taste was memorable; Day 1/Thursday night was a bust (photos) in part because of a botched triggering of severe weather sirens; Day 2/Friday night was spectacular (photos).

See all Locally Grown’s archived Taste of Northfield blog posts and photos for more.

Here’s the transcript of Ross’ adapted prayer for fair weather:

Almighty Lord God, who for the sin of man didst once drown all the world, except eight persons, and afterward of thy great mercy didst promise never to destroy it so again; We humbly beseech thee, that although we for our iniquities have worthily deserved a plague of rain and waters, yet upon our true repentance thou wilt send us such weather for the Taste of Northfield, that we may receive the fruits of the earth in due season; and learn both by thy punishment to amend our lives, and for thy clemency to give thee praise and glory; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

St. Dominic installs bike repair stand

St. Dominic bike repair standSeeing St. Olaf’s installation of bike repair stations last week, St. Dominic Catholic Church in Northfield installed a bike repair station of its own over the weekend. Pastor David Demster, an avid bicyclist himself, was the impetus.

"While some of our parishioners are mechanically savvy enough to repair their bikes without assistance, many are not," said Father Demster. "To have the Blessed Virgin on hand for intercessory prayers while bikes are being worked on can really help.  We’re also hoping it can diminish the frequency if not the volume of taking the Lord’s name in vain that we typically hear during bicycle repairs."

While the bike repair stand is intended for parishioner use, any community member can use it.

Northfield Sidewalk Public Poetry Contest submission deadline is today; LoGro sidewalk graffiti to be replaced

Bonnie Jean Flom has a blog post on Northfield.org:

The Arts and Culture Commission of Northfield, in partnership with the Friends of the Northfield Public Library and the Northfield Public Library, has announced a Sidewalk Public Poetry competition to mark National Poetry Month in April.

See the Friends of the Northfield Public Library blog post: 2011 Northfield Sidewalk Public Poetry Contest

Northfield Sidewalk Public Poetry ContestAll residents of Northfield, and all students enrolled in Northfield schools, are eligible and encouraged to submit short poems (10 lines, 240 characters maximum) that are appropriate for the public sphere.

Up to 10 winning poems will be stamped into Northfield sidewalk pavements and will be considered for other public purposes including publication and readings.

Locally Grown Northfield is the shitThe Locally Grown Triumvirate has requested that one of the winning poems be used to replace the sidewalk graffiti that one of our fans scrawled into the cement in front of the HideAway Coffeehouse & Winebar last summer.

Friends of the Northfield Public Library allowed to hold their annual meeting at the library; tense discussions ensue

The Friends of the Northfield Public Library held their annual meeting on Tuesday night.  Where? At the Northfield Public Library

There were evidently some tense negotiations on Monday about the fee that the organization would have to pay for use of the library’s meeting room. With the library’s recent budget cutbacks, Director Lynne Young is on the lookout for additional sources of revenue and has reportedly become a tough negotiator over non-profit use of that space.

Friends of the Northfield Public Library Bill North Kathy Sommers  Lynne Young Friends of the Northfield Public Library annual meeting
Friends president Bill North and treasurer Kathy Sommers ripped on Young during their presentations but she placed responsibility for the Library’s financial predicament on the City Council, as well as on library patrons like Will Healy who have hundreds of dollars of unpaid library fines for overdue books.

Henry Emmons The-Chemistry-of-Calm Henry Emmons signing books Jerry Bilek selling books 
The rhetoric was getting pretty heated but thankfully, Northfield psychiatrist and author Dr. Henry Emmons was on hand to, um, calm things down. Henry was the featured presenter, speaking about his new book, The Chemistry of Calm: A Powerful, Drug-Free Plan to Quiet Your Fears and Overcome Your Anxiety

All went well until after Henry’s speech when Lynne Young noticed Monkey See Monkey Read bookstore proprietor Jerry Bilek selling copies of Henry’s book. She argued that the Library should get a commission on all books sold on the premises. Jerry told her to stick it in her bookdrop. Henry refused to moderate the dispute unless someone agree to pay him his usual counseling fee.  The crowd was getting riled up, and when someone mentioned Zamboni tires, I decided it was time for me to leave.

Chamber/NDDC ‘Be Local … Buy Local’ campaign turns it up a notch

Buy moreBe Local … Buy Local (BLBL), the campaign by the Northfield Area Chamber of Commerce and the Northfield Downtown Development Corporation "that promotes the importance of shopping locally for products and services in the Northfield area," has a new initiative. 

They’re selling these ‘buy more’ cards and putting up similar posters in store windows around town.

Roscoe Curry, VP of Public Relations for the Northfield Area Chamber of Commerce, had some reservations about the initiative when it was first discussed at a staff meeting with Executive Director Katarina Fellbore. "I thought some of the merchants might think it a little too doomsdayish," said Curry.  He did an informal straw poll, going door-to-door with the merchants along Hwy 3, and all were in favor.

"I like that it’s direct," said Hugh G. Wreckshun, proprietor of Northfield Kwik Kondom (‘Kows, Kolleges, Kondoms, Kontentment’) near the intersection of Hwy 3 and Heritage Drive. "No sense pussyfooting around."